Well, it's been a long time since my last post. A lot has happened just in the last month and it seems that I have been true to myself and kept most things inside my head and heart as I tried to come to terms with it all.

I just wrote to my baby sister about how keeping things bottled up inside is not a good idea. See, our family has just experienced an incredibly difficult loss in our family. The youngest member of our clan spent a very short time on this earth and then Jesus came back to take her home with Him. I am not saying that this is the way God wanted it to be when He first created little Olivia Hope in her mama's womb. But there is an enemy whose sole purpose is to steal, kill and destroy whatever he can, whenever he can.

My sister and brother-in-law are the most courageous, brave, compassionate, strong and godly people I know. To have gone what they have gone through over the last 8 months: the excitement of becoming parents for the first time, to finding out that this little one had developmental issues, to making the incredibly brave choice to give her every possible chance to win this fight, to bringing her into this world and spending a short but amazing 5 hours with this powerful little girl, to letting her go to be with her Maker all too soon, to dealing with the heartache afterwards -  I can only stand in awe of them and their character as human beings.

At the same time, I have had a major breakthrough musically. I have finally recorded a CD of my own songs - mostly instrumental and a few worship songs. I compiled these particular songs to be a facilitator in helping you connect with Father God in His Presence. It is titled "Intoxicated in His Presence" and if you would like a copy, please contact me via my website at www.tehillahjordancrossing.com.

I've also had a miracle happen in the healing/upgrade of my voice. It was at our latest Partners in Harvest Women's Retreat at Harrison Hot Springs that it happened. I had prayed a few weeks before hand asking God to help me with my voice as I was now singing for longer periods of time every weekend. I haven't taken any formal training for my voice as my musical training was focused on instruments. The increase in singing was taking its toll on my vocal chords and I knew that if something didn't change soon, I could possibly not be singing in a short time.

In the middle of the ministry time the first night of our retreat, I got a text via my friend and roommate, Catherine, that my sister had gone into labour almost two months early. With the known complications, this was a difficult time for our entire family and I didn't know if I could continue with the retreat. But I felt Father God asking me to worship through this time, engaging in spiritual warfare for my sister, my brother-in-law, Baby Olivia and our families. I guess somewhere along the way, my voice changed. I wasn't sure that it actually happened, but it was confirmed by two of my friends who know my voice well. No one except Pastor Merrilyn was aware of exactly what was going on for me at that moment. Since then people have noticed the strength in my voice. I'VE noticed the change and I can totally attest to the fact that this is a miracle from God. I give Him all the glory and honour for giving me this amazing gift.

Ramblings ....

I find it interesting how difficult I am finding it to actually put some thoughts down. It's like there is something in me that says "don't bother, no one wants to read your stuff. No one wants your opinion." I realize that I have always been afraid to really put my opinion out there. Even now as I write this, I can feel myself cringing inside as I hear all the potential comments, and I am actually shutting down. But I am going to continue to write this post because I believe it's time to overcome the fear. Joyce Meyer has said, "Face the fear and do it anyways." Well ok, here goes.

I am stuck. I have a whole lot of things that I think I should be doing, but for some reason I am not doing them. I believe that God created me to help facilitate the ushering in of His Presence wherever I go. Mostly it seems to happen through music. I really feel that it's the reason I was put on this earth. Yet my own mindset keeps me from going all out and pursuing that which I know I am created for.

So I am sticking out a limb from my hiding place and publicly stating that I am creating some sort of music CD for completion by the end of this year. I am going to get off my keester and finish this thing before it finishes me.

There, I've said it.

Tehillah: Jordan Crossing ... we're going for it again!

This Sunday night, August 11, the worship team and I will be hosting a full blown worship night at Agape Life Center, located at the Sunrise Community Center, 1950 Windermere St, Vancouver, BC. We're planning to get into the Presence of Father God and see where He takes us. It's a wonderful opportunity to get filled up with the Holy Spirit, hear from the Father or just enjoy His Presence.

Tehillah? What is that?

Since beginning the Tehillah: Jordan Crossing worship nights at Agape Life Center Church here in Vancouver, people have wondered about the name. I was perusing some different worship websites when I came across some lists of the Hebrew and Greek words translated as "worship" or "praise" in English. At www.justworship.com, the following is their contribution:

Tehillah-to sing hallal, a new song, a hymn of spontaneous praise glorifying God in song
Psalm 34:1 I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

Psalm 40:3 He has put a new song in my mouth -- praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord.
Psalm 149:1 Praise the Lord! Sing to the Lord a new song, and his praise in the assembly of saints.

When I read this, my spirit leaped because the "spontaneous" praise or worship is something for which we are becoming known. As the Spirit leads me or whoever is leading the worship time, much of our time is given over to allowing each individual to express his or her own praise/worship to the Lord. Many times it feels like the prepared songs we sing are only launching pads for the "real" expression of our love and adoration. In these new songs, I find that I am carried even further in and higher up into the Presence as each individual passionately pours out their alabaster jars of love because there is something that they contribute that I cannot.


When I come into the Presence, when we enter the Presence together, as the pure, spotless Bride, we cannot help but be affected, changed, renewed. As we come into the Presence, we are crossing over into the Promised Land, flowing with milk and honey - our home. I believe that when we purposefully seek the Father's face, seek the Presence - whatever that looks like, we cross our Jordan rivers - that which divides us from Him - and come into the fullness of life in Christ - the Promised Land.